Mike is in Heaven

Matthew 17:20 And Jesus said unto them if you have face as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say to this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove: and nothing shall be impossible to you

One of my favorite pictures of Mike.

On Wednesday, the 6th of October, Mike was transferred to hospice, he never regained consciousness. Mike passed away the afternoon of October 8th. 😪😪 You can watch his memorial service at Candlelight.org and look for Michael Lee Memorial Service. It was on the 18th of October. He’s no longer in pain and no longer confused. I believe he’s in Heaven with our Lord and Savior, and our daughters. I did end up with a positive covid test. I went to my doctor and took 2 IV therapy treatments each, of 25 mg of Vitamin C. One on Thursday the 7th and one on Monday the 11th. My taste and smell were fully restored. I dealt with fatigue, but I was also exhausted from caring for Mike 24-7. I slept for ever. I was a little dehydrated, and it took several days to get enough fluids back into me so I felt better, and even though I could taste I had no appetite. Again, exhaustion, and grief, from losing Mike.

Now I am moving forward with baby steps and praying for continued guidance and strength.

Covid hits home

Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him

Me and Mike in Israel

This day has been a very emotional for me, there is so much to share and I am very tired. Mike was in really bad shape and Robert called 911 for me. Mike spiked a temp in the ambulance at 101. The ER got him started on IV fluids and IV antibiotics, and he tested positive for covid. At 4:30 he was put on the covid floor of the hospital and he was unconscious.

I have cried most of the day, and I am fully wiped out. Tomorrow I have to be tested. Right now though, I need to rest.

Mourning already

1 John 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them

A happier time

Mike was very restless today, and he fell several times. I contacted his primary doctor and they want Mike in the office tomorrow. My hope is to get hospice in for some day to day help and possibly I’ll get some respite care out if this.

I haven’t been able to get Mike to take his meds, it’s been a mess all the way around. He’s now totally incontinent and unaware of what’s going on.

I am so wiped out, still, that I am not doing much good to anyone at the moment. Mike fell several time this morning, but has been more quiet this evening.

I am thinking he may not be on this earth much longer. 😪 I know I have been grieving him for sometime, already, but I still have him here. Though, for him, this is not living. He’s barely existing.

If Mike had any idea of how much he’s deteriorated he would be appalled with his condition. My heart is sad.

Hello?? Can you hear me?

Ephesians4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Mike holding my hand in the ER

Mike fell in the middle of the night. I didn’t see anything when I check him, about, 2 am; when he woke up his head and bedding were covered in blood. His hair matted with it. He refused to let me clean it, and we ended up in the ER. It was a traumatic day.

In the middle of giving out information, I fainted! Not a good thing to do when you’re the caregiver and information giver. They rushed me to another ER room and took care of me, while attending to Mike

An oncall doctor for Dr. Britt, gave Mike a prescription to help calm him, but I think it’s made him worse. I am stopping it as of tomorrow morning.

While we were at the ER, Phil, & Paola, cleaned up the mess from the bedding. It was pretty much dont by the time we got home. I fell asleep within 15 minutes of getting to the house, and slept until 7:30. When I got up, Paola was trying to make Mike’s bed, and I helped her and then, felt like going to sleep again.

Robert is spending the night and allowing the rest if us to rest. ❤ Tomorrow, we will be discussing hiring a CNA to come in and help with Mike and looking into my getting some respite care.

Things are progressing quite rapidly ☹ For all intents and purposes, my husband is gone – all I have left is this non-functioning body of the man I’ve spent almost 52 years with.

His time is getting short

Provers 30:5 Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him

On a road near our home

On Thursday, the 30th of September, I hit a wall of exhaustion, and I got a sore throat. I went to sleep that afternoon around 3 and woke up for a few minutes, sometime on Friday. Thankfully Phil & Paola were here and they took care of Mike, because I just couldn’t. They leave on Tuesday, the 5th.

There are lots of things happening. It looks like our trust is screwed up! Mike’s dementia is increasing, and he’s walking around, in front of people totally naked. He is also urinating everywhere. He can’t seem to get to the toilet, or if he does, he doesn’t make it in.

Mike is falling constantly, and he is incoherent most of the time. We don’t get visitors much,, anymore. No one stops by to see Mike, or to visit with him. This is the life we’ve been given. I will do my utmost to make sure Mike is safe,, and it looks like long term care may happen soon than later 😭

I am not at 100% myself and so I will close. I still need some sleep.

The doctor said….

John 3:20-21 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God

Mike 7 years ago

Mike had a rough night and spilled a cup of milk. It was after midnight, and I pulled myself together, got dressed, and went downstairs to clean up the mess. I didn’t get back to bed until 1:30. Mike was up a couple more times, the last being at 6. I got him to lay down with me and he finally fell asleep.

When he got up, he didn’t feel well, so I kept him home from the Bennett House and I was thankful Phil & Paola were here to take care of him.

I made it to the VA clinic and filled out papers for Mike and got those turned in. I made a stop by the attorney’s office, then I had a quick breakfast at Elmer’s.

I checked with Paola on how Mike was doing and he had eaten 1/2 an egg sandwich, which was good.

I got back home at 1 and left with Mike for a doctor’s appointment at 2:30. I was so happy the doctor said Mike’s platelet count, though low, was still in a normal range. They had discussed doing a bone marrow biopsy, but after seeing, and talking, to Mike. That was scratched. The doctor said his cognitive issues were of more importance than the blood issue! Mike went to bed as soon as we got home, and he was up several times. Now he’s quiet and I am getting ready to sleep.

A Mixed Day

1 Chronicles 16:34 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

This morning

While we were out at breakfast today, Mike put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. It was a sweet blessing. We enjoyed our branch with our friends Phil and Paula, then we headed home. My cataract day after we got home, he said, he stopped me at 1 point yest and told me he was losing bits and pieces of himself, and he was afraid. This was afraid. I told him I was afraid also, and he patted my hand and fell asleep. Later on, when Mike was waking up he this up he was totally disoriented, he began to hallucinate, he thought it was World War II and he had a top secret clearance and he had information the enemy wanted. It was so sad to see this.

Then Mike began to pace, he was up-and-down back-and-forth, in his room, out of his room. He couldn’t seem to settle in one place, then he finally dozed off and it was time for dinner.After dinner I ran to the pharmacy to get him some cough medicine and to talk to the pharmacist and make sure he could take Nyquil. No worries on that.

I put Mike to bed, and he got up. Then I put him back to bed, and he got up a second time. The 3rd time he got up he decided he was going to move furniture, so he moved the sofa. Then he tried to move the coffee table. I wouldn’t let him do that and he got very angry with me and frustrated, and he ended up going back into his room.

I gave Mike some cough medicine, and he finally went to sleep.

While all the stuff was going on with Mike coma Robert was out in the garage, building a Banister for the stairs they go from the house to the garage. I was thrilled that he was doing this and it really is a nice, sturdy, banister.

Robert is done for the evening, Mike’s still asleep, and I will be asleep soon, myself.

Has he reached a tolerance with his meds?

2 John 1:6 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love.

Reflections

Mike didn’t stay in bed until late morning today. He was up several times before 9:30, abd then he decided he wanted breakfast. His favorite is oatmeal with raisins, so I fixed 8t for him. After 3 bites he decided he was done. I took the bowl away, and he sat on the sofa and dozed off. I walked into the kitchen to rinse dishes and I heard a noise. Turning around, I saw Mike going out the front door! I ran after him and got him back inside. Then at 11 he was just gone. Our company, and me, went looking for him, and I found him outside again. I convinced him to come in again; at 11:10 he was back outside. I got him into the car and took him to the Bennett House.

Getting home, I sat down to work on my next class for the court. Conservatorship. My printer wouldn’t work, and thankfully, Phil was able to get the PC, and printer, to interface. And I was able to complete the class and get my certificate.

After Mike got home, he began messing with the jeep again, so Robert stayed with him for a while before he had to leave.

Mike hasn’t been able to settle anywhere. He’s up and done a dozen times, and then again and again. I’m tired trying to keep up with him. First for a few hours this morning and then from 3pm on tonight. Right now he’s up and walking around downstairs and I need to check on him, again. My sleep has been impacted greatly with him up so much, day and night.

Tonight I began watching The Chosen on Angel Studios. It’s free! This is a great story and seems to bring Scripture to life!

He’s here, he’s there, where is he now?

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Mike asleep

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, and I was still up at 7. Phil and Paola used the car to go to church, and I stayed home with Mike. When they got back from church, I was able to work in my office, putting things away, and sorting through bags and boxes. Mike managed to allude Phil a couple of times and made his way upstairs to ask me questions. And when I went downstairs, to fix dinner, and I told him I would be in the kitchen, he still went upstairs looking for me.

Mike was very active today. To the point that not one, of the 3 of us, could sit down for any length of time. One of us was always jumping up to follow Mike and make sure he didn’t do something to get hurt! And here it is, 9:30 at night. Mike’s had his meds and yet, he’s up and wandering the house, and looking for things, and wanting me to find his glasses, (I found them) his water, (I found the cup of water) his hearing aids, (I found them) He needs to replace the batteries on the hearing aids- WHERE ARE THEY?!?!?! I told him I was done, I needed to rest and he needed to go to bed. But no, he’s wide awake, watching tv and ticked because I won’t look for the batteries! If he would just go to bed, and sleep, he wouldn’t need them now, anyway!! 🥴

Right this minute, 9:30 pm I can hear him shuffling around downstairs. I am so sleepy I feel like crying! Being this tired also makes it hard for me in dealing with Mike. I dont have the patience I need to handle him. I really must close and encourage him to go to bed!

A most excellent day

2 Peter 3:18 If but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen

Autumn leaves

Today was a wonderful day! Paola and Phil kept Mike and allowed me to go out to do some photography.

While I was gone, Paola reorganized the shelves on my garage and in my storage room! What a sweet blessing to come home to.

Robert was here, also. He’s been working on finishing the doorway to the downstairs. It’s been a lot of work and it looks totally wonderful!

After I got home I helped Paola with a little bit in the garage, and then I decided my time would be better spent doing necessary paperwork for the guardianship. I now have 3 sets of paperwork together and placed into binders. It was so much nicer, and easier, to do this in the day time, rather than staying up late, waiting for Mike to be fully asleep.

This evening we went to Elmer’s for dinner and everyone was tired, so it was a good choice. Much better than trying to figure what to do for dinner and then fixing it.

Everyone is now in bed, and I’m the only one still awake, so I will now say good night