And in other news

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Mike was up before 6, and slept off and on all day. Initially he went outside to “find” me he said he didn’t know where I was. (I was sleeping, but his bedroom door alarm, and the house alarm got me to scrambling pretty quick! Mike napped, seriously slept, napped more tossed and turned. The sofa was hot, the house was hot and humid and all around it was not a comfortable day for anyone. At 7:30 Mike stated it was a really long day. I told him he had been up before 6 am and he usually didn’t get up before 10 am. He went to bed. I did some plant therapy, for me. I planted a few succulent lines, hoping they root. I havent cut the vine from the mother plant yet. I will wait a few weeks and check to see if the vine has rooted or not. If it has, I will cut it.

Mike is talking about moving the large safe in the upstairs hall! He wants to brace the entry ceiling before he trys to move it! Nope I won’t let that happen!

I really need to get started on cleaning out the room on the main floor, and also getting some quotes for putting a shower in. It will have to wait until next week to get started, but I am sure that I will hit it hard, after August 8th.

For now, I’ve left signs on the doors, “Mike, if you’re reading this I am still sleeping. Please go back to bed ❤ Jenny”

We’ll see if this works to keep him from going outside to look for me!

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me

Mike wandered the house last night, so I didn’t get to bed before 2 am. And at 7 he woke me to make sure I was there. He said he it was 7 pm, but I said, “No, it’s 7 am. Please go back to bed.” And he did. He got up for the day at 10, but went upstairs and laud on the bed and fell asleep again. The whole day was pretty much him sleeping.

The housekeeper came and went, I did some work putting things away and when Mike woke up at 1:30 I gave him 2 fried eggs with a slice of bread – just how he likes it. About 5 he decided he wanted a bacon cheeseburger, so we drove over to Burger King and got that for him.

He wanted to stay home while I went, but I said no, I want you to be with me (it’s not safe to leave him home alone!) I can’t tell him he’s not allowed to be left alone, it would just make him angry, and I don’t want to deal with it. I finally convinced him to go with me and off we went.

After we got home, Mike couldn’t eat the whole burger, it was way to much for him. He’s down to about 147 now, and I think he needs to try to gain some weight.

We’ll see how the next few days go. He sees a doctor on the 4th and I’m sure that’ll be interesting!

Now its time to close, I’m battling to stay awake and it’s a battle I’m losing 🙃

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs

Though it’s past midnight, technically it’s the 31st, but I am just now getting to write for the 30th.

I got Mike to the Bennett House at 11:30 and drive to Rathdrum, 25 minutes away, to take a packet of papers to the medical clinic. It was information I felt the doctor needed to know prior to Mike’s appointment on August 4th. From there I also had to go to the attorney’s office, where I found out the conservatorship papers have been read by the Judge, and he wants some follow-up information. An attorney, for Mike, has been appointed and I should be going to court within 3-5 weeks from now. It was suggested that I should start tracking my finances now, the Court will want a full accounting.

I have talked to Robert, and we will be diligently working to prepare the room on the main floor for Mike, for a bedroom. He’s not going to be happy! 😔 I also need to add a shower to the main floor powder room for Mike. I had it set to go, but Mike threw a hiss fit and told the guy to get out. I have to start over with getting quotes, etc.

Mike is determined he’s going to drive again, (sigh) and I am even more determined he will not.

My goal is to keep Mike home for as long as possible, I will go as far as getting someone to live in, to help care for him. I dont know how much input the Court will have on that decision, but I hope, and pray, as his wife of 51+years, my wishes will be honored.

Mike took several short naps this afternoon, and one long nap of over 2 hours, yet he was extremely tired this evening and went to bed by 8:30.

At almost 2 am. I need to get some sleep also.

Psalm 91:11 For he shall give his angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways

Mike went to lunch with the guys today, and I met up with 2 of the wives. We had a good visit and a good meal.

I got home, Mike had just arrived before me, and I had him go to the pharmacy with me to get his meds – we got home again, and while Mike read, I cleaned a section of the garage and got it ready for another set of shelves.

I had barely sat down, and Mike decided we needed to go to Post Falls to get his hearing aids checked out (they weren’t working properly) On the way home he asked for a milkshake and I said sure. We went to Baskin-Robbins and I got each of us a large strawberry shake.

Mike was reading, things have been good, and he looks at me and asks, “Who says I have to be at this house place 3x a week?” I told him the doctor did. He then snarled, “I’m socialized enough! I don’t need that place. Why am I there?” I told him at the initial time of starting, he was sleeping all the time and the doctor felt he would be better there. He yelled, ” I have no control of my life!! None at all! I don’t like this!” I just sat there as he raged on and on about how unfair it all is. I didn’t say anything, I let him vent. Then he began to yell that he has no where to work on his sculptures. I told him Robert has a place for you, he showed it to you on Tuesday. Mije didn’t believe me, and he went out to the shop to see for himself. He didn’t remember how Robert had fixed it for him. Mike turned to me and said it’s to d@mned hot to work in here! I told him that’s why Robert put a fan next to the table, and he put a stereo radio for you to listen to. Mike glared at me and went back to the house.

When we got inside, I told Mike I was going to take a shower, he said, “Fine! I’m going to watch TV. ”

As he headed to the family room, I went upstairs to shower. As I was drying off I heard the front door close, and Mike’s shuffling gait in the entry. I asked, “Mike, are you looking for me?” He snapped at me, “Yes! Where the h€ll have you been?” I reminded him I took a shower and he was unhappy with me. (sigh) I finally told him I was going to bed and went upstairs.

Proverbs 8:11 For wisdom is more precious than ruby’s, and nothing you desire can compare with her

I got Mike to the Bennett House and went to a doctor appointment for me. The doctor was thrilled with my labs, all of the numbers were excellent and even my BP was good. As we were getting ready to leave the house, I told Mike I was going to wait for him in the car. I waited about 5 minutes and he didn’t make it out to the garage, so I went into the house to find out what was happening. Mike was in the kitchen looking for me. He didn’t remember I was waiting, and he’d forgotten we were going anywhere in the car.

I did some shopping at the Chef Store after my appointment. I got some coffee and a 50# bag of pinto beans, and a few other things. I need to get some flour, but 1st I have to have a container to put it in.

Mike decided he didn’t want to go to church this evening, so we didn’t. I ended up falling asleep on the lounge chair and didn’t even have a cup of tea before bedtime.

Now, Mike’s asleep, and I’m heading there soon.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled

Today, Mike is 74. For the past several years I have ” kidnapped” him to go on a lengthy vacation. We had to turn off life support for our daughter, 14 years ago, today. So I would use the vacation as time to focus on Mike.

Today we had a quiet day, we went to the chiropractor, then to Michael D’s, and my Mike ordered 2 blueberry pancakes. Those things were as big as the plate! And he ate both 🙂🙂❤

After we got home, Mike began to ask if his lunch buddies were going to be having cake with him tomorrow. I said no, just the folks at the Bennett House. He said that was good, because he doesn’t want the lunch buddies to know he has dementia 😳😳 He then proceeded to tell me he’s glad that no one,outside of our family, is aware of this! Seriously??!! Oh My!

I didn’t enlighten him, what good would that do? Just upset him, or make him feel self conscious? Nope, it’s not worth it. He can go on believing no one is aware.

I may get frustrated, and upset, but I won’t do anything, on purpose, to cause him any more distress.

Today was a good day, quiet and relaxing, and there was a little rain.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure and heart: for they shall see God

Another busy day. I needed to do fasting labs this morning, so Robert sat at the house in case Mike woke up. I was back by 9:00 and Mike was up about 9:45. Robert had fallen asleep on the lounge chair and Mike laid on the sofa and went right to sleep. I had dueling snores between 10-11 😅 I woke the guys, gave Mike his meds and Robert left. Then I dropped Mike at the Bennett House and went to the market and ordered a birthday cake for Mike to share on Wednesday. He will be 74 tomorrow!

After the market I had to go to the attorney’s office and that ended up being a longer stay than I had planned for, but I got some information that I needed, so it was well worth the time. Since the plans I had fell apart, I ended up going home for 90 minutes until it was time to get Mike again. During that time I called his Union for the fire department and ordered new insurance cards, I contacted medic alert, and ordered a bracelet for him, and I talked to Idaho Health and Welfare about getting a list of long term care facilities. I was told the closest right now is either Boise, or Pocatello. NOT HAPPENING! I refuse to have him 8 hours away if he has to go to someplace. I will figure out how to pay someone to be here, in the house, with him.

I took him to Elmer’s for an Alaskan cod dinner and he ate almost everything on his plate – hurray!

After we got home, Mike sat and read for about 3 hours, then he went to the family room, watched some tv and then to bed. Though he made it to bed before 10, I am barely going to make it before 11

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love, honor one another above yourselves

I got out for 2 hours today. Robert stayed with Mike so I could run to the market. The store shelves are looking very thin! I went to Walmart and there were huge holes lacking any product in the grocery area.

I also went to the Dollar Store and got a couple of things, but not much. Even so, between the 2 stores I spent about $200. It barely filled my trunk and I could have easily put more in there.

Mike sat in the living room for most of the day, reading a book. He reads very slow now, and it takes him about 10 minutes a page.

While he read, I went out to the garage to rearrange stuff on shelves, I was tired after 2 hours if shopping, so I didn’t get much done, but I did get a start.

This evening, I asked Mike to go to bed early since he was up so late last night and he became very angry with me and told me I was a bully and he would go to bed when he was d@mned good and ready. I went to check on him half an hour later and he was watching a tennis match! OMGosh! He NEVER watches sports, of any kind! 😠 He was doing this to make his point! He’s incredibly stubborn! He didn’t go to bed until 10:15. grrrr

For now, he’s finally in bed and I have an 8 am appointment – good night

1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth

Family dinner

It’s been a really long day. I was up at 7 am and here it is, almost 11:30 pm. Mike decided today he was going to try to get the safe opened – I’ve changed the combination, and it’s empty, but he doesn’t know either of those facts. Now he’s threatening to get a large circular saw to cut the thing opened! He’s totally fixated on this and no matter how much I try to distract him, he keeps coming back to it! I won’t allow him to cut it opened, or to have someone else do it, but he’s really pushing me. I think a weekend of sleeping would help! (Preferably I would get to be the one asleep 😁) But we know that’s not going to be happening anytime soon.

There is, now, an alarm on Mike’s bedroom door. It rings my phone when he opens the door, so I can get up and check on him and make sure he doesn’t wander outside.

I also have his wrist measurement, and now I can order a medic alert bracelet for him. This will be especially handy if he does manage to wander off.

I am hoping the attorney for him will not contact us until Mike sees Dr. Britt on the 11th. The doctor is supposed to tell him it’s time for a conservatorship 😬 I am concerned if I tell him it will go over like a lead balloon! He may rely on me for all things, but I am not someone he listens to for important things. He never has. No matter what our together discussions, and agreements, over the years – no matter what our together decisions have been, he’s always thrown them out the window and done his own thing with no regard for me. I have been let down in this manner time and again, so at this point, whatever I believe is best for him he will reject out of hand. I am not an authority figure, in his opinion.

Right now, he’s slowly allowing me to set some parameters for his protection, but for the most part, each step is a battle. I guess when you have never valued someone’s opinion you never take them seriously when it’s important.

I’m not having a pity party here, I’m stating the way it’s been from the beginning of our lives together. In a few months we’ll reach 52 years together, and I’m here for the long haul. Reality stinks, sometimes, and I get frustrated with the constant battles. However, I will never abandon Mike; I will always do my best to care for him.

Tonight, he decided to stay up until 11 pm! I asked, begged, and explained that he needed to go to bed. He flat out refused! I dont get to go to sleep, or shower, etc while he’s up. So I wait; and now, at almost 11:45, I am finally able to shut down for the night. And I know that at 7 am I will be wide awake and ready for when he decides to get up, and begin his day.

2 Peter 1:7 And to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love

This morning, as Mike is coming into the living room he looks at me and says, “I want to sue the doctor for forbidding me to drive.” I was a bit surprised, and said, “what?!”

Mike was adamant! “I want the papers where he forbids me to drive, I want you to call the attorney and set an appointment, and I want to know if this is legal.”

I said okay, but I haven’t done anything about it. I know he will ask again, and maybe I should call the attorney’s office and let them know what’s going on. I seriously can’t believe that he believes he’s okay to operate a motor vehicle!

It looks like tomorrow will be spent going through the files and pulling the papers together for him. I am hoping to hold him off from this until his appointment with his doctor in Rathdrum. That one is to determine if he’s medically capable of handling a vehicle! I pray the obvious answer is no!

If Mike’s going to be upset over this, the next couple of weeks might get really interesting. For now, I need some rest