Wow, today was almost ugly! A couple of months ago, I hired a young woman to help me with some light housekeeping. The practice since she started has been to get her started, then Mike and I leave for breakfast out. It snowed yesterday – there is about 6 inches of snow on the ground. Then today, as we began to leave to go to breakfast, Mike decided he would be driving! I have refused to ride with him, his driving is so bad. He has a driving mandate and he keeps blaming the OT (Occupational Therapist) who gave Mike his driving test 3 times, before she set parameters. Mike has complained to me, to anyone else who would listen, to the neurologist, who told him the OT is excellent at her job and if she makes a recommendation he, the doctor, will follow it!.
Anyway, we didn’t go to breakfast, Mike was totally PO’d!! He threw a hissy fit, stomped into the house and refused to talk to me the rest of the day. Now, tonight, he approached me very aggressively, and told me he decided the parameters were under stood wrongly and he’s going to begin driving again. What do I do??? How do I deal with this??? How do I keep him safe, others safe?? If he drives it’s frightening. I will not ride with him, and this is going to cause great anxiety for me because I know he will only get more aggressive. We are at a major impasse and on Monday I need to contact the doctor’s office and ask how to handle this. I may have to forego church tomorrow, just so I don’t have to deal with his driving. I am close to tears, I am totally frustrated, and I feel alone.
In years past, when I needed to cry, I would wait until Mike went to sleep, I would quietly go downstairs with a pillow, crawl under the dining room table (it was against the wall on one side) sit in the corner, and bury my face in the pillow so I could let the tears flow. He never knew this, and I have never shared this before; but I feel it needs to be stated now. My life is, almost, crumbling before me, and I am stuck………………………….
I’ve taken a break, fixed dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and now I am sitting in my room. I’m pondering the day, and thankful for the ability to take my problems to my Lord, and Savior, Jesus. Dealing with Mike, and all the turmoil is more than I can do alone. Years ago, I had to learn to trust in Jesus, when our daughters were in the hospital. That trust is still here, still viable, and still giving me peace and strength to continue. I need to focus on the positive, and on the good things that still happen. And with that being said, It’s been a great day. Have a good evening.