Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
One of a series of photos taken for our 50th anniversary.
Today I met with a couple of women to discuss Mike and what’s going on, and how to try to deal. They wanted to know our situation, and my feelings on them coming over to stay with Mike so I could go shopping, or out to run errands, whatever. The discussion was good, informative and enlightening.
Initially I told them, Mike is still cognizant of the fact he’s losing memory, he still is aware when there are ‘strangers’ around and he would be offended if he thought that I thought he needed a ‘sitter’. I told them, right now, I need a man to befriend Mike, someone to take him to coffee, or lunch at least 2x a month and maybe more. (I am even willing to pay for it – for both of them) Mike wouldn’t want another woman in the house without me being here.
They asked me if I had plans to put Mike into long term care. Not at this time, I am able to handle things here at home, and even though I feel it’s necessary to check on him every couple of hours, I still feel he’s okay at the house.
They recommended I hide the keys for the 2nd vehicle so he can’t just get in and take off for somewhere – that makes total sense to me, and it is something I’ve had a concern about in the back of my mind. Another suggestion, get a key that looks similar to the key for the 2nd vehicle and just replace it for the correct one. Hmmmmm I’ll have to think about that.
Another suggestion, turn the alarm on at night. We have an alarm system that beeps whenever an outside door, or window, is opened. I’ve had it turned off because it’s annoying. They warned it could become a safety issue if Mike begins to wander. So starting tonight, the alarm system is activated for the night time. Since I get up earlier than Mike, in the mornings, I will make a point of turning it off.
Finally we discussed me. How am I handling things. Right now I believe I am doing well and everything is under control. I was told that could change in a heart beat, and I am aware of the unpredictability of day to day and going into long term. They also wanted to know if I had any plans, for myself, after the inevitable. The inevitable of Mike needing to go into long term care; the inevitable of Mike passing away. I was able to tell them yes, I do have plans. I want to travel more. I want to return to some of the places we’ve visited and take more time to explore. I want to go to new places and find new adventures.
They asked if we had done a will and a trust, yes. That is completed; the finances are in order, until Mike needs long term care. Then I don’t know what I will do!! I have full durable, medical power of attorney, and general power of attorney. Mike is no longer able to be responsible for anything, though don’t tell him that!!
It was a productive day. After I got home, we ate lunch and I made a baklava for tomorrow night’s Christmas party with friends. I am so looking forward to having a relaxing evening and maybe even a glass of wine!
It’s been a great day. Have a good evening.