When did it begin?

Psalm 69:34 Let heaven and earth praise Him, The seas and everything that moves in them

Taken July 2020

When did I begin to not rely on Mike to get things done for me? Before, I would know, though it might take a while, what I asked Mike to do for me would eventually get handled. Whether it was recovering chairs, or hanging curtain rods, or fixing a hinge on a cabinet door – he would get it done. But, somewhere in the last couple of years, I realize I haven’t been relying on him. I’ve let things go and not asked him to fix stuff, or to help me get something accomplished.

While we were on our trip last year, I now realize I had no expectations of Mike handling anything. I did it all, he just didn’t seem capable; but I didn’t realize that is what was happening until more recently. There were some instances on the trip that were not compatible with what I’d always known of Mike, and close on to the beginning there were two major events that forced me to realize Mike couldn’t take care of stuff. However, I now realize, that even then, I wasn’t fully depending on him.

It is odd to look back and know that your ever-so-capable spouse hasn’t been capable for longer than you care to admit.

Mike was, again, agitated today. Up and down, back and forth, sitting, standing, sitting, walking, pacing, sitting, over and over. I finally told him I was calling the doctor to find out if it could be caused by one of his medications! I put a call in about 4 pm, and I didn’t hear back today, I hope I hear back tomorrow. It’s not pleasant for me to watch him, and I can tell it’s not pleasant for him. He even told me he can hardly handle being in his own skin! He is trembling more, he’s less steady on his feet, he stumbles easily. It is concerning!

And though Mike has had a rough day within himself, it’s been a decent day of getting things handled, getting errands run, going to the market. And mostly staying home.

I’ve had a great day. Have a good evening.