Psalm 25:17 The troubles of my heart have enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses!
Mike and me at Post Falls park – taking photos along the way March 2017
I had to go out this morning – I just needed to get out! At 10:15 am I decided to run to the health food store for some red clover tea, and then I was going to head to Kohl’s. While I was buying the tea, I just had a sense I needed to go home. When I got there all was quiet, and Mike was still sleeping, and I remembered a check I needed to cash – so at 10:30 I headed to the bank, and decided to go home instead of going to Kohl’s. I was back in the house by 11 am.
Mike was up when I walked in. He didn’t say hello, or good morning, he yelled at me! “Where are my pills?!!” so I said, “Well, good morning to you too!” I had his medicine on the table next to the place I usually sit, but he was pissy and demanded to know where I had them, so I said in my pocket. What’s interesting about this, when he was the responsible one, he sometimes wouldn’t take the darn things for hours after he got up; but now that I’m doing the responsibility he gets in my face and snaps at me. After he took the pills, he asked for a cup of coffee, and he laid down on the sofa – he was fast asleep before the coffee was ready and I let him sleep. At 4 pm he woke up and said he needed to get some gloves, okay – we went to Kohl’s, got the gloves, and he wanted McDonald’s filet of fish (shudder) that was tonight’s dinner. I told him I don’t want that anymore, it upsets my stomach. We were back in the house by 6pm and he laid down and went right back to sleep. At 8 I woke him to tell him he needed to take his evening pills, and then go to bed. He said No – I’ll do it later. I looked at him and said, “Nope, I need to see you take them!” He yelled at me, “What the hell!! I’m trustworthy!” “Yes, you are, but you set them down and can’t find them, or you come to me and ask for them again, and if I don’t see you take them then I’m not being responsible”
Then I looked at him and said, “You are rude and belligerent to me, and you need to stop it now! I’m taking care of you, quit treating me like I owe you something!” He actually apologized – and said he was going to bed. I reminded him he has a physical therapy appointment in the morning and I had to get him up no later than 9 – did he want to shower tonight or tomorrow? Anger again! “I SHOWERED YESTERDAY!!!!” I smiled and told him, “and you stink today! Take a shower, Or I can get you up at 8:30 to take one.” He decided to shower tonight.
He’s more alert when he’s awake, but now he’s more aggressive again. I am certain he will get more so as time goes on. I am not looking forward to that stage!
I called the neurologist to try to get an appointment for a medicine recheck – I’d like for the doctor to see Mike again and maybe reassess him before April; but there’s been no call back. I’ll wait through tomorrow, and I still need access to resources and such. I have had one woman contact me who said she has a list of information she can share with me, and I believe I will soon be making arrangements to meet her for coffee and find out what she has.
It was, mostly, a quiet day, there was nothing major accomplished, but I did get a letter letting me know the date of my appointment with the guy who does our taxes. So I now have a specific goal, and challenge, in getting my office finalized and papers filed properly.
With what happened this morning with Mike, and knowing myself, I need some time away; more than just 45 minutes to run to the store and back home. I need a day, or a full morning, a full afternoon, to do some photography; to take a walk; I’d love to do the hot chocolate boat cruise on the lake; I’d love to do the eagle cruise before the eagles leave in a few more days; I’d like to walk downtown and look at the Christmas lights before they’re all gone; I’d like to meet some friends for lunch and enjoy talking and laughing – however, to do any of this I either have to have someone take Mike out to lunch, or come in and sit with him. That’s another thing I need from the doctor, a reference, or prescription for home health, in home care or whatever it’s called. And Mike’s anger be damned!
I had contacted my church about having someone take Mike to lunch, or coffee, and there is one guy who contacted me and said he and another guy go to lunch every Thursday, and they’d like to have Mike join them. I was thrilled to hear this, and next week, after the New Year, I will be contacting him and finding out if he will be picking Mike up, or will I be delivering Mike to the restaurant. I am hoping he will get Mike instead of my dropping him off.