Undone

Proverbs 8:35 For whoever finds Me finds life, And obtains favor from the Lord

Image may contain: indoor

A cabinet that needs to be put together. It’s going into the closet in the room that will be my office/craft room. It’s a nice looking piece of furniture, if I could figure out how to do it. My life is also feeling like it’s in pieces that need to be put together. I am trusting the Lord has me in His hands, because if it were left up to me I would most likely fall apart bit by bit.

Today, I was at church, and Mike needed me, so I left to get home. We live only 5 minutes away so I was home quickly. Mike was asleep on the sofa. He spent the entire rest of the morning sleeping. He woke up, asked for lunch, ate – I asked if he’d like to go for a drive to the lake? No, and he went right back to sleep. He woke up about 6pm and decided it was time to go to bed for the night. (sigh)

Our lives have changed drastically in this last year. Mike is no longer interested in doing anything but sleeping. He eats, maybe, 1 meal a day and he has a difficult time standing and walking anywhere. I am sure a lot of that is due to his lack of getting up and doing anything, but I am unable to convince him otherwise.

I know Mike is losing control, I know he’s not remembering the most basic things, I know he’s aware – to some degree – of what’s happening. And I am watching my husband slip from me. I find my motivation is lacking; I just want to sit near him, even as he sleeps. Who knows how much longer I will be able to do this? And if he carries the journey like many do, this process could take years. What am I to do? Where am I to look to find any solace in watching him? How do I keep me together? How do I not get lost?

Published by motherpooh

I am a Mom and a Grandma. I like photography, genealogy, scrapbooking, canning, and gardening

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