do you care?

Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.

A peaceful pond on a beautiful summer day

Today Mike was good. He was in a good mood, he didn’t sleep all day – I’ve finally weaned him off the one medication he had mistakenly over dosed on, and now all seems to be on a better track; Except he’s sarcastic, and rude in his comments.

I believe it’s the dementia, but I don’t get anything from him in the form of interaction. No conversations, no touching, to emotional support. He just isn’t there for me at all.

We went out to breakfast this morning and he slept sitting in the booth waiting for our order to be taken, and then he slept waiting for the food to arrive; – this is week 2 that I haven’t been able to go to church, and I really miss the in person Worship and adult conversations. This is a lonely way to live. I do get phone calls from time to time, but no in person visits, mostly no calls. It’s like: since I’m not out in public, I’ve disappeared from everyone’s conscience thoughts. I am in a lonely place now. I want to shout: HELLO!! REMEMBER ME? I’M STILL HERE!! I COULD USE COMPANY/CONVERSATION HELLO!!?? ARE YOU THERE? ARE YOU LISTENING?? (do you care?)

I can hardly believe I’ve only been doing this, this staying home all the time, for just 2 months. There is a chance this could go on for years! Oh My Soul! I will wither away if I have to be locked up here, alone, for years! My heart cries out “Please, Dear Lord! Help me!” And tonight I know I will cry myself to sleep, again.

Published by motherpooh

I am a Mom and a Grandma. I like photography, genealogy, scrapbooking, canning, and gardening

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