Always a struggle

Psalm 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.

Mike and me; Taken in the spring of 1994

Mike is determined to get keys for the jeep! He’s tried, and tried, and tried! I am thankful his calls to the Jeep dealer have gone unanswered; but I am sure, eventually, it will come to the point where I’ll have to order a key for him. I plan to contact the doctor and let him know that Mike must have his license revoked! There is no way he should be driving, anymore, he can’t even figure out how to use his cell phone to make calls – I feel sad for him about that. I don’t feel sorry for him not driving, he has no business even considering it. I am sure, until the doctor tells him no more driving, Mike will continue to push for it.

Otherwise, our days have been good. Not perfect, always a struggle about something; but right now no major confrontations, since last Friday, the 29th, when he blew up about getting a shower put in. This morning Mike spent a good 10 minutes opening drawers, cupboards, etc in the kitchen. I finally asked him what are you looking for? And he responded, “the plug for the French Press!” Hmmmm “Mike, the French Press doesn’t use a plug” “Jenny, yes it does. I just can’t find it, and I can’t figure out where it plugs into the base” “Mike, you just boil water and pour it over the grounds, wait a few minutes, and then gently press the top of the lid down” “No, No, No! You’re wrong! I’ve done this lots of ……. OH! Okay.” He got his coffee just a couple of minutes before we needed to leave. Through it all, he refused to allow me to help him, to show him. He insisted he could figure it out without help – and he eventually did. But it was unnecessary for him to have to, and he could have had his coffee a few minutes earlier and enjoyed a full cup, instead of just a swallow.

He’s so strong willed, and so stubborn I just want to scream sometimes! But that won’t accomplish anything, so I grit my teeth and try to just let him struggle with whatever he’s doing. If I do try to step in, he gets so upset, it’s not worth it. So I let him go. One of my ‘fears/concerns’ one of these times he’s going to haul off and swing at me. And I am not looking forward to that time at all! I am sure there’s been a few times where he’s almost struck out at me, but he’s restrained himself – someday, that ability to check himself won’t be there and then I hope it’s at a time where I am on guard. What a sad commentary on where we are in our lives now! Him not knowing, and not always knowing me; and me constantly trying to be ready to duck.

For this evening, all is okay. Mike has closed his door and turned out his lights, and now it’s my turn.

Published by motherpooh

I am a Mom and a Grandma. I like photography, genealogy, scrapbooking, canning, and gardening

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