Psalm 71:22 Also with the lute I will praise You— And Your faithfulness, O my God! To You I will sing with the harp, O Holy One of Israel.
A beautiful winter outing.
After yesterday’s blow up, today was quite mild! Mike was very subdued and quiet. I don’t know if he remembers yesterday, but he must have realized something had happened. I woke up at 7 and it was raining and I laid in bed listening to the rain, and dozed back to sleep for an hour! When I got up and went downstairs, Mike was sleeping on the sofa. He woke up about 9:30 and I fixed breakfast. He didn’t eat. He went to the family room and stayed there for a good portion of the morning. At 11:30 I decided to throw away his food, and just about then, he came into the living room, looked at it, and said he wasn’t aware I had fixed him anything. Which is puzzling, because I was cooking it when he said he was going to the family room and would be right back. Maybe he forgot in that short span of time. Next time, I won’t let it sit. I’ll take it to him.
Around 2 we left the house to go for a ride. I drove to Twin Lakes to take some photos, but the lake was totally frozen, so nothing happening there. Then I drove to Spirit Lake and found the same – all frozen. On the way back to Coeur d’Alene, Mike decided he wanted to go to Elmer’s for dinner, so we did.
After we got home, Mike wanted to watch the movie The Lone Survivor. It’s not my kind of movie at all! I stayed in the living room, read some, then decided to head for my bedroom. I told Mike I was going to bed, he said goodnight, stood up, and went to his room. That was the end of his day.
My question is: What sort of quality of life is there for him now? If he’s not sleeping in bed or on the sofa, he sits with the tv blaring, I can barely be in the same room it’s so loud most of the time. Or if we go for a ride, he sits quietly without speaking. If we go out to eat, he orders, then sits without talking or engaging except to ask for more water. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t talk, he’s just there. This man, he used to do everything! He could fix the car, the plumbing, the electrical. He could build, or plant, or design, or sculpt whatever, and now nothing! In just 1 short year he’s totally withdrawn from everything and almost everybody.
My heart hurts for him, and for the loss of our last few years together. Even though he’s physically still here, the man he was is now gone.